A Ship to cross the Sea of Suffering

"Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realise our goals, in our efforts to move forward." Daisaku Ikeda

At the end of the season…

It has been two solid weeks of 14 hour days and naturally I am buggered.

The youth show we have been working on has been a massive success, with sell out shows for almost the entire season! Many reviews, and attendees in appreciation of a cleverly devised and directed piece high-lighting our teen binge drinking problems. A challenging, and awkward piece to say the least… one party never to forget.

As I mentioned earlier my position has been to manage and extinguish the fires lit three times a night by the cast. It has been fun, and I couldn’t think of a better way to earn money really. Despite the long hours and spending my nights outside at the end of a short Winter, I just love the ability to contribute to such a project and to also be the fire professional. It has a ring to it … I get taunted for impressing the fire department so much with my techniques that they were wanting to hire me. My response of course was that I was too busy to take the offer, teasingly.

I miss my days of fire performance. But am happy to contracted to supervise and advise on incorporating fire into shows.  We all know that using fire is generally skipped altogether because of the danger, and nuisance of gaining clearance.  It’s one thing to have confidence in dealing with fire, but using the equipment in a timely and correct manner is hard to come by.

Tonight is our final performance, and is followed by a pack out process which should see us working until 2am. I have never been so glad to see the end of a day, such as this!

If it weren’t for having a flared pilonidal I wouldn’t mind as much! But the swelling in my lower back and tailbone area is just a pain in the ass. HAHA pun intended.

I have stock piled on anti-inflammatory and pain medication to get through, but I am looking forward to tackling the next few days without it so that the boil can quickly come to a head, and be drained. The quicker this process the sooner I can be walking, lying down and showering properly..

Having this challenge in health, definitely makes me realize how many of us take our bodies for granted. Anyone with a sickness that stops them from being able to use their legs, back or any limb for that matter… and endures pain endlessly until the draining has finished really just has no idea how little we give gratitude for working body limbs. Or the simple gesture of being able to lay flat on your back… or not having to do summersaults at night time to change sides to sleep on. Walking without a limp…. operating without a nagging pain that I can only smile or breathe through.  The list can continue. But my mind is strong enough to just appreciate that things could be worse and that currently they are not. This is temporary for now… and hopefully in the near future I am going to make the decision or find a way to remove this poison once and for all.

I keep chanting. I keep challenging myself to be free from doubt, anger and frustration over having something plague me so painfully.

There is value in triumphing over this challenge. There is hope that I will be free, so long as I continue to operate from my Buddha self and have the wisdom and courage to do what is needed. To make decisions and choices that are brave and of benefit. Not of fear…

I’ve barely had enough time to live in my house lately, nor the time to write as much as I’d like to.

so in the coming weeks I am hoping to filter the thoughts and inspiration that lives in my head.

Transferring it into word… onto page.

 

My poetic self ruminates constantly over rhyming words, and thoughts.

The passions ticking inside that are itching to get out and be known.

Perhaps like most writers, I just need to have absolute confidence in what comes forth.

Learn to love and embrace what I have to say…  what the mind is telling me to write.

 

Sentences, images… spoken word that flows freely. I miss you.

Feel free to check out my second blog http://poeticreminiscence.wordpress.com/  for all poetry and word slams.

 

 

Until then, x Stay peaceful and keeping pushing through my friends.

 

OIM

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