"Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realise our goals, in our efforts to move forward." Daisaku Ikeda
The project has finished, and a lot has been happening. I am redetermining to make some major changes and shifts in my life around anger, abuse, health and life condition.
I am not sure how far and wide this challenge is being done, but at the YWD training course we were given the heads up for our next 100 day chanting challenge.
it is called ichinen 3000. From Sunday 11th August through till the 18th November many of us from across New Zealand are chanting and studying for the next 100 days to challenge and embody the essence and teaching of Ichinen sanzen in our lives.
we are setting firm determinations for personal growth, the success of SGI’s new headquarters and also endeavouring to study the principles and concept of ichinen sanzen – three thousand realms in a single moment of life in order to understand and employ those principles into our daily life. I will post a great study resource in my next post when I have access to a computer.
For me this challenge couldn’t have come at a better time. The mystic law sure is mystical! Haha
The last few days since draining my cyst I had been falling into a deep sense of hopelessness and depression over beating this crappy illness. The key to my success is not giving up hope, never being defeated against suffering that I endure. This practice is my tool for winning, for overcoming all obstacles that I may face.
I know that within my heart that I can overcome this, but it is only me who can change and transform the suffering into positive outcomes.
The sickness of my body, manifests through the sickness of my mind. The two kinds of illness.
having been so frustrated by my pilonidal sinus I sometimes fall into despair, a hopeless state of anger and animality that consumes me if I let it. At times blaming my partner for trivial matters, or returning to sadness and anger over the sexual abuse I endured as a child. Anger and hate for a life so full of suffering and pain. Anger at my mother even though these thoughts are irrational and detrimental to all of us.
I wonder sometimes about, times in my life where I return to remembering the things that happened to me, being full of sadness and anger. No doubt my mind will never forget, but it is the internal cause and actions that I take from those moments of remembering that will matter.
What I need to learn here, is understanding what lay beneath these feelings and thoughts. To take a deeper look at the root cause of my anger, where it stems from and how I can actually address these issues directly. How to change the behaviour, how to change the actions I take in order to deal with these sufferings.
How can I understand the true nature of my internal causes, and the factors in my life from beginning to end in order to truly transform the world and environment around me..
So this challenge, is going to be the base of this internal transformation. The brand new start to more human revolution, and I will challenge it with all my might and strength by getting up earlier in the morning to ensure I am chanting as much daimoku as I can both morning and night. This is surely going to build a stronger foundation of Buddhahood so that I can victor over my sufferings.
lets do this!
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