Pilonidal and Sunshine

I was struggling this morning to muster up hope that I will one day be truly free from my pilonidal sinus. Considering surgery again keeps pressing on my mind…

I’ve decided to keep up with the homeopathy but to also pursue investigating the options on offer within our public health system. We all know how expensive Private surgery can be… so by taking the first step to getting an assessment appointment I can start to consider my options.  I just hope that I don’t feel pressure to go through with it if I decide after professional advice that having it cut out isn’t my best option.

Many things run through my mind. And although I have deep faith in using the Lotus Sutra to challenge my inner transformings I still need to recognize the ability to think with wisdom and courage on this one.

The thought of surgery and 6-8 weeks of bedrest recovery daunts me like never before.
And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

What will I do for job security? Income… self care…
How will my partner cope with me holed up and unable to move.

On the other hand is this thought of… how much more can both of us can take?  We can’t keep going on like this. I can no longer expect or hope that she is ok with nursing amd draining me anymore. It’s destroying everything.
Our relationship. .. my quality of life. Our quality of life together. .

I am hesitant.  I am slightly afraid but at the end of the day I need to take action.  I need to seek all means necessary to turn this poison into medicine.

I must not be afraid.  There must not be any doubt in my mind regarding thd success of such a procedure.  Instead I must believe that, by taking this opportunity I will be protected.  I will beat this illness once and for all. I will rid myself of the toxic crap that pollutes me in every sense.

I will no longer store anger, abuse or negative in my body. This is the final cleansing and it is going to be a doozy.

The sun is shining today. Spring is inching closer…
There is hope upon the horizon.

Peace my friends x

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