"Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realise our goals, in our efforts to move forward." Daisaku Ikeda
There are certain times in my life where I have felt completely useless. Totally defeated by my own negativity. The internal dialogue that seeks to ruin you completely. What do they call it? Oh yes – Self Sabotage. I am a professional at this kind of behavior.
Falling into old habits of self destruction, lack of belief and hope in the very gifts and strength that I present to the world.
But I do my best every day to challenge these learnt behaviors. To transform them from something painful, into something of true value! And I wonder if it is safe to say, that through determining every day to beat these vicious cycles – Some days just work out completely in your favor!
Today has been a great example of that.
For months on end, actually for over a year now – I have been investing my time and energy into a mental health initiative that is purely youth run, and youth led in terms of a governance and design structure. Revolutionary in the way that we see, and participate in the terms ‘mental health’.
The last few months have been particularly trying, testing my patience to the max – at times making me feel hopeless that we will ever get this new service design off the ground let alone decide on a governance structure that is fresh, and compatible for all of our participants.
I hate the term governance anyway, but it is something we actually have to live with for now. We have health boards and big time funders putting pressure on us to finalize our structure so that we can move forward and get cracking into our design phase. The adults and ‘elders’ in the field always enjoy their big authoritative words don’t they…
One thing that I bring to the table in this area is that I have a very strong vision for where we ‘should’ go if I can put it that way. I’m a bit precious about being too forth coming as I am aware of my strong vision and how that could potentially disrupt the process of equal participation. Maybe I should just put that aside, and just get on with sharing what I think and feel ‘we’ as a team could do. Maybe that is exactly what the team needs, someone with a strong vision but also the capability of hearing everyone else’s contributions. That is me to a T.
So after a lovely meeting today with our project co-ordinator I was given the heads up and opportunity to put myself forward as Chair of the Board. I said Yes, why not because at the end of the day these opportunities never really come around again, and everything that we are working towards is exactly what I have always dreamed of doing. Never mind the time frame we are racing by! The best part, is that this organization has the tools and resources to make my dreams come true. In collaboration of course! which has always been the original concept. A community, a Culture, relevant education that empowers individuals to make change in their own lives and communities. Up skilling those who want to take the opportunities on offer, and enabling them to take part! to take action to create the change that THEY want to see in the world.
After months of struggling, and a moment of doubt as to whether I wanted to continue with this project I am being given the opportunity to head a project I am so so, deeply passionate about. I feel excited, humbled, nervous but most of all incredibly blessed that I may have the chance to help create something of TRUE value. Now all that is left, is to have the blessing and encouragement from the rest of our group in trusting me to do the best I can do, to see our project through and to use all of our strengths in getting to the finish line…
Together we will succeed! Together we will create the best service, for the benefit of ALL.
NMRK will get me there I am sure!
Wish me luck!
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