A Ship to cross the Sea of Suffering

"Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realise our goals, in our efforts to move forward." Daisaku Ikeda


I am bubbling with an energy and tension I know not, what to do with at times. The repercussion of an idea that I am exploring at the moment. My mind is distracted by a stern change in the direction of my community goals, and I must run with it and see how far I can get on the train of its wake.

I’ve always had a passion for community. Of making a difference and offering my lived experience for the benefit of others. So naturally as I have matured and become more solid in who I am, and what I am truly passionate about; my desires for a better future for all of humanity drive me to keep moving forward.

I spent most of last night pondering all of the foundation I’ve already placed down, but intrigued to what this thing might be called. A little premature, perhaps.  An inkling of me knows that it will have a  greater pool of input deciding its important fate. Maybe a youth panel may want to take control of the space by naming it. But for now I really wanted to play with the words and descriptions of what the ‘space’ is and storing words that really encapsulate the essence of what I envision the environment and culture of the space to resemble.

Satisfied with my attempts, I put the laptop aside and went to bed.

I spent the rest of the night in a restless waking state. Asleep but drifting into thought of more ideas and possible word combinations. Tossing and turning In a trance of some sort, I was at peace and in comfort but churning at the seams with abundance in energy, and compulsive thought.

In a particular moment I awoke and uttered a word, with gratitude… it felt like gratitude. But the word has disappeared and only it’s feeling stays as a reminder. I must become more attune to this expression.

Early morning calls me out of bed, mind still racing with anxiety and apprehension. Creative juice sliding me forwards. Opening the document I was working on last night, I am floored. The chart I spent hours making no longer exists.

I was obviously tired enough to just snap the laptop closed in an effort to get myself to bed at a respectable hour. Paying heed to my obsessive efforts. Acknowledging my need for rest. In turn deleting the document containing those names, words and ideas. I am starting anew. With only one word left burnt into my memory; FOCUS.





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This entry was posted on May 27, 2013 by in Challenge, Gratitude and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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