A Ship to cross the Sea of Suffering

"Real happiness is found in the struggles we undergo to realise our goals, in our efforts to move forward." Daisaku Ikeda



I am a pacific queen

A pacific goddess

A pacific God

A pacific Buddhist




Born to these lands,

These waters, these mountains

Their lofty heights watching over

Veins of the land connecting

Me, to you, to them, to us


I’ve been searching

For something words cannot describe

I fight for my identity, my gender

Trying to clean up something I had to hide

Trying to decide, confused


OF what you want me to be,

Never mind society

Or finding strength in just








Why does identity have to be such a painful journey for some? Although individuality is a blessing, I’ve struggled my whole life through the washing machine of influence. And almost certainly never ever felt at east with who I am.

Feeling uncomfortable in my body, with how I look, with how I feel, think, act, talk, etc etc

It’s getting better now — And the key has been — To have a vision, a plan, a goal…. having an idea of what the next step is in the journey of your life.  I am lucky.. because of the support and encouragement I receive now from my partner. She is the light in my life, when my world is full of darkness…

The poem I wrote tonight, is inspired by a theatre show I saw last night addressing the terminology for gay – homosexual men. Touching on issues of identity through the inadequacy of words, and the nightmare of self discovery in a cruel world.

IT sparked my interest in gender fluidity, and the confusion I have around my own sexuality and gender orientations.

Inspiring me to feel that I am ‘in’ my place. Right here, right now – Just as I am. Just as ME. label or not…


Things are changing. And personal acceptance is a good driving force for change.

I encourage everyone I know to challenge themselves to self discovery. The immensely rewarding process of human revolution through Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.



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